You rather listen than talk- everyone knows I can talk A LOT! But the truth is that I talk in response to you. I listen intently, I look at body language, at your eye movements, at your hands, sometimes I connect with your spirit and listen beyond your words. The coach’s primary job is to listen and ask questions that are relevant to the client, not to try and fit the client into our own inner dialogue or to “teach” the client based on our experiences. Listening in a real way and receiving the insight of the client facilitates a trusting and authentic relationship between coach and client.
You can go deep into someone’s orbit without getting sucked into the abyss of enabling someone and her habits - Personally, I like to go deep, get real and have fun all at the same time. Outcomes, goals, plans are important in coaching because they reveal the client’s inner workings and thus allow for coach and client to work together to achieve necessary internal change. It’s not about the end result, it’s about the healing and empowerment that unravel as you move toward your goals. Coaching is not about a destination, a doom and gloom ride toward feeling sorta ok with yourself. It is about unleashing your inner fearless goddess and approaching all aspects of your life with that attitude. As soon as you accept your unique gifts and talents you will start to enjoy all aspects of your life, even the difficult times, like the “failures.”
You care about others, like for real - Yes, life coaching is a business, and truly amazing coaches deserve every penny we get. Why? Because I give everyone I work with (and some are pro bono clients who are low and no-income women) my most important gift: my commitment to help you get to REAL happy. I want you to be happy for you but also because it benefits everyone. If you are happy it means another happy, self-loving, contributing member of society. That’s priceless.
You work hard - I am my own dominatrix. Discipline is my middle name. Being a coach sometimes involves working alone. Being able to hold myself accountable to my work is a huge asset. There’s no hunting me down for an initial meeting, if you contact me you will get a response. I am always thinking about new and interesting blog ideas, and although I send out my newsletter once a week, plenty are in the draft box and ready to go.
Play hard- I don’t work on the weekends. When I am not working as a coach, I am at the gym, I am writing screenplays, practicing my photography and video skills, I am building my sister bond, I am out with friends, I am reminiscing about my high school years with my 3 teenage sisters, dancing around the living room with my nieces or nephew, preparing to be a bridesmaid for my BFF’s dream wedding, reconnecting with old classmates or friends I haven’t seen in a while, connecting with new friends, watching a sappy romance movie with my lover, or discussing why coaching is a real job with my mother, among other crazy things she likes to bring up. My needs, my creativity, my family, my friends, and my loved ones are top priority.
Practice what you preach- This is the most important question here. To be a coach you must be committed to your own personal development. You must bring to all interactions your authentic self. Coaching is intimate and you must build your core in order to be able to help and support your clients in whatever way they need. If you are weak, whether in terms of emotional or physical well-being, core values, mission, or passions, you are not yet ready to coach.
But if you are ready, welcome!
Yaromil Fong-Olivares is a life coach and personal development blogger residing in New York City. Contact her for coaching, trainings, and speaking gigs at firstname.lastname@example.org.